After all that’s been said and done, you want your boyfriend back. Okay, make that, ex-boyfriend. If your mantra has become “how to get my ex-boyfriend back” since the relationship ended, it’s time to stop saying it and start doing it, because just saying those words over and over again while doing nothing just won’t make your ex come running back to you. Forget what New Age “psychology” tells everybody – that if you say certain words long enough and often enough, they become real and true – because this is real life, girl, so go get real. That means action on how to get your boyfriend back, not some repetitive mumbo-jumbo that even the voodoo queens in Haiti or New Orleans do anymore.
There are Many Ways to Tell Yourself “How to Get My Ex-Boyfriend Back”
First things first. Ask yourself if getting back your ex is what you want, what you really, really want. If the answer is yes (and chances are it is), then let’s chunk away the “why” because to someone as madly in love as you are, the word “why” is interpreted as “why not?” so let’s just proceed to the how do you get your boyfriend back objective. The first thing that will be asked of you is your time. How much time are you willing to put in to get back this ex-boyfriend? And you’re not allowed to say something impossible like “tomorrow” or any other time in the vicinity of a week. There are many factors for you to consider regarding the time that will take for you to get back your ex.
One tip: remember that it is harder for men to go back to something – in this case, a relationship – that they have either chosen to give up or stop wanting. While nothing is impossible, you have to be aware that men and women think and feel differently, mainly because they are made differently. Women, unlike men, have compartmentalized minds, and usually have or give more reasons to get back together than men, simply because it is in the nature of women, unlike men, not to give up so easily. Think “A Very Long Engagement.”
Finding Out How to Get My Ex-Boyfriend Back Requires Research
Before making a move, try finding out if your ex is still interested in getting back together again. This is hard to do for any woman, especially if she was the one who initiated the break-up. This is one time social media can be praised to high heavens. Find out from Facebook, Twitter, or other similar sites that he is on, exactly what he has been up to. His status reverting from “single” to “in a relationship” in a matter of weeks since you have broken up with him might induce you to weaken at the knees, sweat profusely or raise your heartbeat a higher rate or two, but this will give you the biggest assurance that your desire to get your ex-boyfriend back doesn’t have the price tag that will make you a laughing stock.
If you have been asking mutual friends about him and they just smile or answer generically, as in “he’s good,” then you know what that means: he has moved on, without you, and that more-or-less indicates that he’s serial dating again or is already involved with someone else.
If you have ascertained that his single status on the sites he’s on hasn’t changed, start out at a slow pace. Showing up at his house with a pecan pie and profusely apologizing or declaring your love when you see him lining up at the local Burger King is not something that works in real life. Do that and your ex will automatically label you as “stalker” with a capital S. Waiting out just a little bit is Tip Number Two. Bouncing back into your ex’s life after the break-up the week before won’t give him – or you, for that matter – sufficient time to think things through.
And if he broke up with you, seeing your face against his car’s windshield after a particularly rigorous workout at the gym will spark more anger than gladness at seeing you again. Try texting him with “safe” messages such as “hope you’re okay” or “how are you doing?” If these messages don’t get replies, then you shouldn’t go any further. If he does reply, then that’s your cue to have a conversation or even a get-together. But don’t get your hopes up too high, because your ex might just really be polite and want animosity haunting the past he spent with you. Be casual if you do have that get-together.
Preparing on How To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back
Letting him know what he’s missing will be so appropriate if he was the one who broke up with you. That is not to say that you will be all over the places he goes to with someone else. If the idea behind this is to make your ex jealous, he won’t be. He will either be furious that he has been replaced so quickly, or he will be so relieved that you seem not to be interested in him anymore. Okay, so be in places that he goes to, but not on cue, and certainly not obviously so dolled up that he starts to feel that you got all dressed up and pretty just to get his attention again. Wear something he got you, like a necklace, for instance, which he can see on you, or read a book he gave you, because although these strategies may be manipulative, they may remind him of the good times that you shared, which, hopefully, were more than the bad times.
If he comes over at your table while you’re having coffee while reading that book, it’s a signal that he wants to reconnect in some way. It may not be romantically at this point, but that situation can possibly start some conversations about what happened to the relationship. Was the issue cheating? Was it not enough time for each other? Was it annoying habits? The operative word here is cool, and that means not getting all wired up during the conversation and being defensive, or offensive, as the case may be, all over again.
Both of you can even come to a resolution of the status of your relationship, some sort of truce, if you can call it that. Whether or not both of you, or either of you, agree to get back together again will matter less than your initial target of how to get ex-boyfriend back, in place of an amicable settlement of the issues between you two and remaining, if not friends, on speaking terms with each other.
Talking Could Be One Way of How To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back
Needless to say, admitting the wrong you have done that caused the break-up isn’t the easiest thing to do, especially if, at this point, you still believe that you did wrong as a reaction to what he did wrong. For instance, getting hysterical because you saw him with someone else and provoking him to a prolonged verbal argument that made him say hurtful things to you, only to find out in the end that that someone was a cousin from out-of-town whom he hasn’t seen since they were in kindergarten.
It will surely take all of your guts to muster an admittance of a fault in the relationship, but muster it you should. An apology may come out of your mouth easier than admitting your fault, but you just have to say it, and emphasize that it won’t happen again. If, on the other hand, your ex really should be doing the apologizing and he doesn’t, well, he wasn’t worth your love and affection, and you certainly shouldn’t begin to give him those now.
When Things Really Don’t Work Out Regarding How To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back
Starting over isn’t any easier with a relationship which got broken, so, this time around, tread carefully around the issues which led to the break-up. Whether it’s the intrusion of friends – whether his or yours – on your time together, his habit of picking up stray cats and letting you take care of them or your shopaholic sprees which make him look like your bag boy, resolve those once and for all. If you can’t, as in neither will compromise, then it’s time to move on, in this case, for both of you.
If you both decide that love may be lovelier the second time around, balance the past and the present, so that both of you can have a future together. Remembering the past means doing away with mentioning past transgressions and working on the present means avoiding the mistakes which went with those transgressions. That said, always keep in mind that once you get your boyfriend back, it won’t mean things will get so much better than it did the first time around.
This second opportunity is really all about finding out whether or not you two are meant to be together forever, or forever apart. When you stop asking yourself “how to get my ex-boyfriend back,” it’s either you have him back or you have chosen not to get him back for whatever reason.
Either way, you might want to get my free exclusive report on topics “The #1 Secret How I Get My Ex Back Less Than 7 Days!”. Just enter your name and email address below to get more tips and suggestions on relationships.